Bumper Sticker Hardball
November 3, 2004
“The Republican philosophy might be summarized thus: To hell with principle; what matters is power, and that we have it, and that they do not.” “Where the Right Went Wrong,” Pat Buchanan, Republican presidential candidate
"The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer." Henry Kissinger, Secretary of State, Nixon Administration
"This conjunction of an immense military establishment and a large arms industry is new in the American experience. The total influence -- economic, political, even spiritual -- is felt in every city, every State house, every office of the Federal government. We recognize the imperative need for this development. Yet we must not fail to comprehend its grave implications. Our toil, resources and livelihood are all involved; so is the very structure of our society. In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist. We must never let the weight of this combination endanger our liberties or democratic processes. We should take nothing for granted. Only an alert and knowledgeable citizenry can compel the proper meshing of the huge industrial and military machinery of defense with our peaceful methods and goals, so that security and liberty may prosper together." Dwight Eisenhower
"Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children... This is not a way of life at all, in any true sense. Under the cloud of threatening war, it is humanity hanging from a cross of iron." Dwight Eisenhower
"The problem in defense is how far you can go [in military spending] without destroying from within what you are trying to defend from without. " Dwight Eisenhower
"I think that people want peace so much that one of these days the government had better get out of their way and let them have it." Dwight Eisenhower
"Let's look at it simply. The most important difference between North Korea and Iraq is that economically, we just had no choice in Iraq. The country swims on a sea of oil." Paul Wolfowitz, Bush foreign policy counselor - 4/2003 - http://www.whatreallyhappened.com/aboutoil.htm
“There are two ways of lying, as there are two ways of deceiving customers. If the scale registers 15 ounces, you can say: "It's a pound." Your lie will remain relative to an invariable measure of the true. If customers check it, they can see that they are being robbed, and you know by how much you are robbing them: a truth remains as a judge between you. But if the demon induces you to tamper with the scale itself, it is the criterion of the true which is denatured, there is no longer any possible control. And little by little you will forget that you are cheating.” Denis de Rougemont
“A time comes when silence is betrayal. Even when pressed by the demands of inner truth, men do not easily assume the task of opposing their government's policy, especially in time of war. Nor does the human spirit move without great difficulty against all the apathy of conformist thought, within one's own bosom and in the surrounding world.” Martin Luther King Jr.
“To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.” Teddy Roosevelt
"We Now Live in a Fascist State," Lewis Lapham, Harper's Magazine, Editor - http://www.organicconsumers.org/Politics/harpers101205.cfm
"Costly Withdrawl is the Cost of a Foolish War," by Martin van Creveld, Hebrew University, the only non-American. Creveld is the only non-American author on the U.S. Army's required reading list for officers. http://www.forward.com/articles/6936
"Why We Fight" - trailer - http://www.sonyclassics.com/whywefight/
"Why We Fight," Sundance Prize-winning documentary. Interview with director Eugene Jarecki, Newsweek - http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10663345/site/newsweek/
"Why We Fight" review: http://www.iofilm.co.uk/fm/w/why_we_fight_2004.shtml
Greetings,
It’s been months since I wrote the “Bumper Sticker” portion of this letter.
In the meantime, Kerry’s Swift Boat critics have argued that Viet Nam protestors prolonged the war rather than shortened it. (I understand these same fellows are collaborating on a faith-based sequel entitled "Pigs Fly.")
There is broad agreement that “dirty tricks” are a Republican specialty. This "Philosophy of Slime" was first articulated by Secretary of State Henry Kissinger: "The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer."
Informed by this nascent contempt for rule of law, Watergate “plumbers" unleashed a sequence of events that eventually toppled Richard Nixon.
The roots of Watergate gave rise to muck-meisters Lee Attwater and Karl Rove. All along this degenerate trajectory, the Republican Party – abetted by talk-show henchmen – has left an odious trail.
Bush’s former “Faith Based Initiative Chief,” John DiIulio once overheard Rove rave: “We’ll fuck him. We’ll fuck him like he’s never been fucked before.” (We can be sure that the un-named recipient of Rove’s wrath - got “fucked like he’d never been fucked before.” It’s what Mr. Rove does for a living. For more information about Rove’s raving, please see: http://www.ronsuskind.com/newsite/articles/archives/000032.html)
In Newsweek, 9/6/04, Jonathan Alter (who, in the aftermath of 9-11, endorsed torture as "an information-extracting tool") detailed “The Democrats’ Toughness Gap.” Alter's article is an excellent place to begin this study of sleaze. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5853704/site/newsweek/
Tomorrow’s election will reveal whether Kerry and Edwards’ civility can still “win the day.”
If Democrats occupied the same "playing field" Republicans have bulldozed “below sea level,” we would see billboards and television spots like the following.
Coke-snorting, drunk-driving, draft-dodging, absent-without-leave George W. Bush
“Holding the Course for Four More Years”
"Go Fuck Yourself"
Dick Cheney
The Family Party
The Values Party
"You fucking son of a bitch.
I saw what you wrote.
We're not going to forget this."
George W. Bush to Wall Street Journal's Pulitzer-prize winning reporter Al Hunt
“George W. Bush will repair what has been damaged.
He's a man without pretense, without cynicism, a man of principle, a man of honor. On the first hour of the first day, he will restore decency and integrity
to the Oval Office.”
Dick Cheney, Vice-presidential acceptance speech, August 3, 2000
Viet Nam:
Bush with coke in his nose,
Kerry with shrapnel in his leg
(For more "fact-checked" info concerning Kerry’s wounds, see Snopes.com http://www.snopes.com/politics/kerry/service.asp)
Viet Nam?
“I’ve got better things to do.”
Dick Cheney - quintuple deferment
"Mission Accomplished!"
"Bring 'em on!"
Bush-Cheney in 2004
Become the Lie
The United States of America
“Saddamized by George W. Bush”
Iraq
“The George W. Bush Terrorist Recruitment Camp and Training Center”
George W. Bush
“Resolutely Wrong”
Hey Dubyah!
In the rest of the country,
we call “swagger” arrogance
The Power of Pride
Comes Before the Fall
Osama bin Laden?
“I just don't spend that much time on him.
I truly am not that concerned about him."
George W. Bush
http://cbs2.com/politics/politicsnational_story_287234501.html
If Iraq is the Central Battleground
in the War on Terror,
The War's Not Going Well
Imagine.
Four More Years
Of the Same...
Getting Worse
Bush-Cheney
Holding America Hostage
To Failed Policy
Courage
is the ability
to live with ambiguity
Republicans Misconstrue an Ocean of Bilge
For a Tropical Sea With Favorable Winds
Terrified?
Then the terrorists have already won.
Hey! Where are we going?
And why am I in this handbasket?
***
November 19, 2007
Find Out What Really Happened
Water-board Bush
God to Bush: "Stop using me as a reference!"
If going to church makes you a Christian, does going to a garage make you a car?
Christians give Christ a bad name
At least in Viet Nam, Bush had an exit strategy!
Bush’s father should have pulled out too
Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
Every time you vote Republican, God kills a kitten
Renewable energy IS homeland security
Bush wants your kids to fight in Iraq. Why don’t his kids go?
Slow thinkers: keep right.
Well, at least the war on the environment is going well.
EARTH FIRST! (We'll strip-mine the other planets later.)
The winner of the rat race is still a rat.
Voting for the lesser evil is still voting for evil.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
I did not climb to the top of the food chain to become a vegetarian!
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Jesus loves you! (Everyone else thinks you're a jerk.)
Too much Pluribus. Not enough Unum.
Honk if the twins fall out
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
Adjure obfuscation
Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen
I'm out of estrogen and I've got a gun!
You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye opener
Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
The trouble with life is there's no background music.
Gravity: It's not just a good idea. It's the law.
I support the separation of church and hate
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
Republicans! Does Pavlov ring a bell?
Too many Christian soldiers are aggressive in their ignorance
Above all else, sky.
The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
Dubyah celebrated his IQ test. (The results were negative.)
Rap is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art.
The Bush Administration is to government what Velveeta is to cheese
I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
Keep honking while I reload.
Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot either.
If taxes were reduced to nothing, Republicans would still be unhappy whiners
Madness takes a toll. Please have exact change.
Jack Kevorkian for White House physician.
Warning: “Dates on calendar are closer than they appear.”
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
Never let the flag be a blindfold
A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves
You can trust the government! Just ask a Native American!
What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
Some days it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
What would Scooby do?
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
Women who seek equality with men lack ambition.
Of course it hurts. You’re getting screwed by an elephant.
(Spotted on the bumper of an SUV) - "Carbon Hog and Proud of It" - (Christian fundamentalist? Republican? Wanna bet?)
Free Unaccountability-Amulet for joining The Republican Party:
“No comment / I don’t recall”
The United States of America: Saddamized by George W. Bush
The Bush Administration’s Signal Achievement:
Proving the Counter-Productivity of Violence
And the piece de resistance….
I'm Canadian.
It's like being American...
but without the gun.
***
Bumper Sticker Softball
Vegetables aren't food
Vegetables are what food eats.
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
Cats... the other white meat.
I love cats. Let's exchange recipes.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
The Labor Movement: The people who brought you the weekend.
Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
Tell me. "Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?"
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Keep honking while I re-load.
5 days a week my body is a temple. The other 2, it's an amusement park.
Your child may be an honor student but you're still an idiot.
If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.
Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
Horn broken, watch for finger.
WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition.
Lord save me from your followers.
So many Christians. So few lions.
Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
There are two kinds of people. Those who divide people into two kinds... and those who don't.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
200,000,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!
Don't piss me off. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
Ever think you're depriving some poor village of its IDIOT
Save your breath buddy... You'll need it to blow up your date!
Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
Honk If You Want To See My Finger
***
Neologism
To saddamize:
A neo-conservative act of violence arising from the moral calamity of preemptive war coupled with the presumption that "might makes right;" the conviction that "the end justifies the means;" ceaseless zeal to "whoop someone's ass;" the belief that those who do not carry their own weight should be eliminated; trashing political alliances around the world; a paranoid tendency to construe "xenophobia"as a foreign plot; squandering unprecedented Global Good Will in the wake of 9-11; propagation of The Greatest Lie Ever Told (knowing how easily “good Germans” believe "hell is heaven and heaven hell"); imperial destabilization of the Middle East; reverence for Ariel Sharon as a “Man of Peace”; identification of Vladimir Putin as a kindred spirit; and -- piece de resistance -- the creation of ubiquitous George W. Bush Terrorist Training Camps whose bedrock purpose is to establish long-term dominance of The War Party whose leaders are "good Christian men" with whom you'd like to have a beer.
Once saddamized, lockstep citizens faithfully fill the following blank with the word gold:
"Everything George W. Bush touches turns to _ _ _ _."
Citizens who have not been saddamized consider saddamy a pain in the ass.
They fill in the blank differently.
